Hello friends and family on this cold March day. I'm writing today to update everyone on what's been going on and also to explain why Paul and I are choosing an open adoption.
We haven't had any news on the adoption front. We continue to raise money through generous gifts and proceeds of my jewelry sales. We have raised all the money for '2nd Home Study' which we hope we won't be in the book long enough to need this, but we are thankful the money is there. So we now focus on the lawyer cost and after that the Post-Placement cost. So only two more financial hurdles to get over. Though we don't like the constant waiting for baby we feel so blessed that money has not been an issue in this adoption process.
Now for the second topic: Open Adoption. I wanted to talk to you about open adoption because most people either don't know what an open adoption is or they reject the idea. Now I would like to preface this by saying that open adoption may not be for everyone, but it is the route Paul and I have chosen for our future family.
An open adoption comes in many forms, depending on both families. Paul and I hope to share pictures, phone calls, and visits with the birth family. We want them to be an important part in our child's life.
A closed adoption is a little bit different. In a closed adoption you only get a piece of paper with names and not a lot of information. A closed adoption feels like a safer bet to some, but what about the child? Is it really the best thing for them? Adoption isn't about us, it's about the child.
I recently watched a very good documentary called 'Closure' on Netflix. It was about a woman finding her biological family. I highly recommend it to help those looking to understand adoption on all sides.
I believe the biggest hang-up with open adoption comes down to the nature vs. nurture debate. Parents want to raise their children and love them hope that they can nurture them in the best way possible. But lets be honest genetics play a big part in the life and development of the child. Just because the child wants to know why they have curly hair or why they are so good at sports doesn't mean they denounce you as adoptive parents. Everyone wants to a deep connection with other people and there isn't anything deeper than blood.
Paul and I realize that our child will have us as mom and dad, but also have a birth-mom and birth-dad and a whole bunch of other "birth-relatives" in their life and that's beautiful. Because in the long and short of it who doesn't like having more people in their corner?
