It's been awhile since we have posted a new blog but fret not things are still happening. We officially turned in our profile pages today to Lutheran Social Services. They are going to be distributed accordingly throughout Lutheran Social Services and we will be in the book as of January 1st. It is fitting that we start the new year with this new adventure.
Some fundraising news. Paul and I, plus my mom Sheliah, sold bracelets to help raise money. It was through the ApParent Project, which I highly recommend you looking up.
http://www.apparentproject.org/
The ApParent Project is a non-profit organization that is run in Haiti. They work with local artisans to create jewelry, pottery and metal crafts. The profits of sales help the local people earn a living so they can support their families.
We thank everyone for purchasing them. The bracelets sold for $8 a piece, $4 of which went to our adoption fund and $4 of which went to the ApParent Project to help the local artisans. We sold 300 bracelets which earned our adoption fund $1200 and ApParent project $1200! We encourage you to look at some of there goods. They would make lovely Christmas gifts and help artisans support themselves and families.
http://www.markethaiti.com/
As we wait to be put in the book and then wait some more to be chosen by a birth mother we continue raising money. The next financial goal for the placement fees is $7500. We currently have $2000 saved. Onward and upwards!
We ask and thank you for your continued prayers!
The Paters
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Milestone!
We are one step closer to being in the book! That's right folks, we have raised the needed $4000 for pre-placement services, now just to have the meeting. That is scheduled at the end of October, so if everything continues to go smoothly, we will be in the book by November (or at least by the end of the year).
We continue to ask for your prayers and help as we continue our journey. The next financial milestone will be the placement services and it's total is $7500. Which is scary, but we've come so far and we only started in April.
We continue to ask for your prayers and help as we continue our journey. The next financial milestone will be the placement services and it's total is $7500. Which is scary, but we've come so far and we only started in April.
Monday, August 26, 2013
2nd Home Study is done!
We just had our second meeting with our social worker and everything went well. I'm assuming our house was fine because she didn't look around again, minus the fish tank. We got new guppies and they like attention. The meeting lasted a little over an hour, mostly talking about our families growing up and how we plan to parent.
We did learn that the hospital will help us out when it comes to baby care. Teaching us how to change a diaper and give a bath. Paul and I told our social worker that we were going to be the parents looking up how to do everything on google and youtube. She got a good laugh at that.
We still have to have our profile book meeting, which hopefully will be soon. If everything goes well and we are able to secure the money we will be in the book by the end of the year. We did meet our personal goal of having half of the money for the profile book by now. So we just need to raise $2000 more to be able to get into the book.
I'm still selling my jewelry https://www.facebook.com/EmberDesigns?ref=hl
and I'm selling candles at the church.
My mom is selling candles and my jewelry. And Paul's mom is selling glass yard art. https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.pater.77/media_set?set=a.139160786285893.1073741826.100005759167294&type=1
We are thankful to our families for helping Paul and I as much as they have been.
Continue to keep us in your prayers and help spread the word because we want a baby!
We did learn that the hospital will help us out when it comes to baby care. Teaching us how to change a diaper and give a bath. Paul and I told our social worker that we were going to be the parents looking up how to do everything on google and youtube. She got a good laugh at that.
We still have to have our profile book meeting, which hopefully will be soon. If everything goes well and we are able to secure the money we will be in the book by the end of the year. We did meet our personal goal of having half of the money for the profile book by now. So we just need to raise $2000 more to be able to get into the book.
I'm still selling my jewelry https://www.facebook.com/EmberDesigns?ref=hl
and I'm selling candles at the church.
My mom is selling candles and my jewelry. And Paul's mom is selling glass yard art. https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.pater.77/media_set?set=a.139160786285893.1073741826.100005759167294&type=1
We are thankful to our families for helping Paul and I as much as they have been.
Continue to keep us in your prayers and help spread the word because we want a baby!
Monday, July 29, 2013
1st part of the home study!
So we had our 1st half of the home study done on the 16th. Sorry it's taken us a little longer to update. We have our 2nd half August 26th and after that, if we passed we will then have our next meeting which is the profile meeting. That meeting will consist of Paul and I putting our profile together for the birth mothers to look at. We've already started to collect some photos we want to share but it's rather hard to come up with 5 pages that are suppose to reveal everything to the birthmother and father about who we are as a family.
But back to our home study. We are pretty sure our house qualified as a good home and we shared with her all the baby proofing we've already done and what we plan to do in the future. She did comment that our baby room looked rather 'blue.' Which in our defense our 'blue' room is outer space themed so it's gender neutral in our opinion. Whoever our kid is, they will be raised in a Dr. Who themed room, boy or girl. Which brought up an interesting point, Paul and I can't be specific when it comes to the gender of our kid. So all these things we are writing to Benjamin, could easily get switched over to Penelope. I feel it's safer to keep telling people we are 50% sure we are getting a boy. :)
We keep plugging along with selling my jewelry and candles. And we try our best to save money for the adoption but life has a way of constantly kicking you, so all we can do is try and pray that we can continue this slow process that is fundraising.
Speaking of, shameless plug, you can look at my jewelry here
https://www.facebook.com/EmberDesigns
Please contact me with any questions and hopefully job possibilities!
Thanks and God Bless!
Shannon and Paul
But back to our home study. We are pretty sure our house qualified as a good home and we shared with her all the baby proofing we've already done and what we plan to do in the future. She did comment that our baby room looked rather 'blue.' Which in our defense our 'blue' room is outer space themed so it's gender neutral in our opinion. Whoever our kid is, they will be raised in a Dr. Who themed room, boy or girl. Which brought up an interesting point, Paul and I can't be specific when it comes to the gender of our kid. So all these things we are writing to Benjamin, could easily get switched over to Penelope. I feel it's safer to keep telling people we are 50% sure we are getting a boy. :)
We keep plugging along with selling my jewelry and candles. And we try our best to save money for the adoption but life has a way of constantly kicking you, so all we can do is try and pray that we can continue this slow process that is fundraising.
Speaking of, shameless plug, you can look at my jewelry here
https://www.facebook.com/EmberDesigns
Please contact me with any questions and hopefully job possibilities!
Thanks and God Bless!
Shannon and Paul
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Two day adoption meeting
On June 20th and 21st, Paul and I had our 2 day adoption workshop. There were two other couples there with us. One was going for domestic, like us, and the other couple was going for going for an international adoption from Azerbaijan, which the social working had a fun time saying several times throughout the day.
The first day we had to introduce our spouse to the rest of the group by stating fun facts, likes and dislikes, and things like that. Then we played an ice-breaking game which involved throwing a ball to someone and saying their name. It was easy when there was only one ball involved, but then the social worker threw more and more balls into the mix and it quickly became chaos. The game was meant to show us what the adoption process is like. There are times when we think we are on top of things and can handle everything and then there were times when things just seemed to be chaos, but it all worked itself out eventually.
After the ice-breaking game, the couple that is adopting internationally was taken into a different room and the two domestic adoption couples stayed in the room and went through various types of training of the adoption process.
After talking a bit about the domestic adoption process and timeline, we talked about coping with loss. It's important to realize that all of the parties involved with an adoption lose something. The birthmother obviously has to deal with the loss of a child, but she also has to deal with the possible loss of family members and friends. The adoptive parents have to deal with the loss of not having their own biological child. The adopted child deals not only with the loss of their birthmother, but also with the loss of their culture and in some parts, a loss of their identity. It was a very eye opening presentation. It made us think more about the other parties involved in the adoption process and not just ourselves. It made us want an open adoption. Originally, we were thinking about a closed adoption, but we realized that the openness of the adoption is more so for the child's sake than for our own. We want to have a good relationship with the birthmother, whoever she may be.
After lunch, we talked about the legal process that we have to go through. There's a certain period of time between when the baby is born and when the birthparents terminate their legal rights as parents which is known as legal risk. It is anywhere around 1 to 3 months, depending on the situation. In that time, the child would be placed in our home, but at any time the birthmother could come and say that she wanted to parent and we would have to give the child back. Though it is a scary idea, Shannon came up with the idea of doing what's known as "cradle care" for the baby. We would care for the baby, like a foster family, until the parent terminated their rights. That way it would not be as painful if the birth mother decided to take her child back. Shannon said, "It's either our child or someone else's, either way we will take care of them until we find out."
We want to name our son Benjamin Riley, and it would be awkward to name a child that and then have the child taken away, so we decided during that "legal risk" period to name the baby after the actors who played the Doctor on Doctor Who. One name a week. Should be fun. That way we can say the baby is the Doctor :)
At the end of the first day, we met with parents who had recently adopted and heard their stories. One family who had adopted domestically had gone through the entire process in one year, so it will be interesting to see how long it takes for us.
On the second day, we met with a birth parent who had recently decided to give her son up for adoption. It was really interesting to hear her side of things and it really drove home the point that we would like to have an open adoption. Though adoption is built on loss and pain, we hope that together with the birthmother we can raise a wonderful child together.
The next part of the process is getting a home study done. A social worker will come into our house and check out the environment and make sure it is conducive to have a child live there.
After the home study process though, we will not be able to put much online for a while. HIPPA Laws prevent us from announcing when we would be meeting with a birth mother or even to announce the day that the baby was born. Until the baby is legally ours (six months after the baby is born), we cannot even post pictures or videos online. So our blog might go dark for a while. But when the baby is finally ours and our adoption is finalized, we will be massively uploading all sorts of videos and pictures and fun stuff for you all to look at.
Thanks for reading. I know this is a long one, but there's a lot going on! All we can do is just sit back and enjoy the ride. To quote the 11th Doctor, "Geronimo!"
The first day we had to introduce our spouse to the rest of the group by stating fun facts, likes and dislikes, and things like that. Then we played an ice-breaking game which involved throwing a ball to someone and saying their name. It was easy when there was only one ball involved, but then the social worker threw more and more balls into the mix and it quickly became chaos. The game was meant to show us what the adoption process is like. There are times when we think we are on top of things and can handle everything and then there were times when things just seemed to be chaos, but it all worked itself out eventually.
After the ice-breaking game, the couple that is adopting internationally was taken into a different room and the two domestic adoption couples stayed in the room and went through various types of training of the adoption process.
After talking a bit about the domestic adoption process and timeline, we talked about coping with loss. It's important to realize that all of the parties involved with an adoption lose something. The birthmother obviously has to deal with the loss of a child, but she also has to deal with the possible loss of family members and friends. The adoptive parents have to deal with the loss of not having their own biological child. The adopted child deals not only with the loss of their birthmother, but also with the loss of their culture and in some parts, a loss of their identity. It was a very eye opening presentation. It made us think more about the other parties involved in the adoption process and not just ourselves. It made us want an open adoption. Originally, we were thinking about a closed adoption, but we realized that the openness of the adoption is more so for the child's sake than for our own. We want to have a good relationship with the birthmother, whoever she may be.
After lunch, we talked about the legal process that we have to go through. There's a certain period of time between when the baby is born and when the birthparents terminate their legal rights as parents which is known as legal risk. It is anywhere around 1 to 3 months, depending on the situation. In that time, the child would be placed in our home, but at any time the birthmother could come and say that she wanted to parent and we would have to give the child back. Though it is a scary idea, Shannon came up with the idea of doing what's known as "cradle care" for the baby. We would care for the baby, like a foster family, until the parent terminated their rights. That way it would not be as painful if the birth mother decided to take her child back. Shannon said, "It's either our child or someone else's, either way we will take care of them until we find out."
We want to name our son Benjamin Riley, and it would be awkward to name a child that and then have the child taken away, so we decided during that "legal risk" period to name the baby after the actors who played the Doctor on Doctor Who. One name a week. Should be fun. That way we can say the baby is the Doctor :)
At the end of the first day, we met with parents who had recently adopted and heard their stories. One family who had adopted domestically had gone through the entire process in one year, so it will be interesting to see how long it takes for us.
On the second day, we met with a birth parent who had recently decided to give her son up for adoption. It was really interesting to hear her side of things and it really drove home the point that we would like to have an open adoption. Though adoption is built on loss and pain, we hope that together with the birthmother we can raise a wonderful child together.
The next part of the process is getting a home study done. A social worker will come into our house and check out the environment and make sure it is conducive to have a child live there.
After the home study process though, we will not be able to put much online for a while. HIPPA Laws prevent us from announcing when we would be meeting with a birth mother or even to announce the day that the baby was born. Until the baby is legally ours (six months after the baby is born), we cannot even post pictures or videos online. So our blog might go dark for a while. But when the baby is finally ours and our adoption is finalized, we will be massively uploading all sorts of videos and pictures and fun stuff for you all to look at.
Thanks for reading. I know this is a long one, but there's a lot going on! All we can do is just sit back and enjoy the ride. To quote the 11th Doctor, "Geronimo!"
Friday, June 14, 2013
One more milestone!
After more generous donations from friends and family, we are pleased to announce that we have raised enough money toward our home study. The next goal is pre-placement services of $4000.
Paul and I will be attending our two day workshop this coming Thursday and Friday, so we will update everyone about that later.
But we just wanted to share in our excitement of being a step closer.
Thanks and God Bless!
Paul and I will be attending our two day workshop this coming Thursday and Friday, so we will update everyone about that later.
But we just wanted to share in our excitement of being a step closer.
Thanks and God Bless!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Good News
Hello friends and family, ready for some updates! I just got back from a trip to Indiana and brought back some goodies for our future kid.
My Mom threw a baby shower for me, when I was in Indy. I sold my jewelry, candles and cards. With the items I sold and gifts we received, we raised $1000 toward the adoption! Paul and I are super excited about this. We had a few numbers in mind we were hoping to reach but this far exceeded our expectations. So a huge thank you to those who helped!
Paul had two surprise visitors when I was in Indiana. The painters who worked on our basement stopped by and graciously donated to our cause. They are not even members of our church and they have been done with our basement for over two weeks, so they went out of their way to help us. It's situations like these that really touch our hearts.
So that puts us closer to having the home study money saved up.
My Mom threw a baby shower for me, when I was in Indy. I sold my jewelry, candles and cards. With the items I sold and gifts we received, we raised $1000 toward the adoption! Paul and I are super excited about this. We had a few numbers in mind we were hoping to reach but this far exceeded our expectations. So a huge thank you to those who helped!
Paul had two surprise visitors when I was in Indiana. The painters who worked on our basement stopped by and graciously donated to our cause. They are not even members of our church and they have been done with our basement for over two weeks, so they went out of their way to help us. It's situations like these that really touch our hearts.
So that puts us closer to having the home study money saved up.
We even sold two more shirts at the baby shower. So that puts us at 16 shirts sold, our goal is 50.
The t-shirt sale is done at the end of the month, so please help us reach our goal!
My mom and I also did a little shopping for Benjamin. What started as a small shopping trip (considering I had to fly back), quickly escalated in grabbing everything cute. I did manage to pack everything in my suitcase and carry on, but I had to sit on the suitcase just so it would close.
Thanks to a couple of ladies and their gift of a pre-paid debit card, I was able to buy a bumper pad and two sheets. And thanks to my mom we also got a baby blanket, stuffed animal, and three outfits. (For later use.)
Paul and I love seeing the baby room really starting to come together.
And as for the adoption process. We have a two day workshop coming up on the 20th and 21st of this month. So we will definitely update everyone once we have been through that.
Monday, May 20, 2013
2 Day Workshop Update!
Hello Everyone!
Paul and I received a letter today that we were accepted into the workshop group. So that means our second batch of paperwork was okay.
The workshop dates are June 20th-21st, in Sioux Falls. We have our hotel booked and thanks to my hotel points we got a night for free. Always a fan of saving money.
The fun thing about that week, starting that Sunday 16th, is it's the first day of church camp. So Paul and I are driving to Iowa after church on Sunday where we are going to be counselors. Wednesday night after dinner we will be driving the 4 hours back to Sioux Falls. Then two days of adoption workshop. So we will be slightly sleep deprived at the workshop, but it will be worth it.
Also we have a third of the home study cost saved up. Only $2,200 more.
Thanks again to everyone who is helping us. I will be in Indiana at the beginning of June, if you would like to help and purchase some of my jewelry or candles.
And our t-shirt sale is still continuing, so go buy a shirt and tell all our friends!
http://campaign.customink.com/ug-1365966271
Thank you and God bless!
Shannon and Paul
Paul and I received a letter today that we were accepted into the workshop group. So that means our second batch of paperwork was okay.
The workshop dates are June 20th-21st, in Sioux Falls. We have our hotel booked and thanks to my hotel points we got a night for free. Always a fan of saving money.
The fun thing about that week, starting that Sunday 16th, is it's the first day of church camp. So Paul and I are driving to Iowa after church on Sunday where we are going to be counselors. Wednesday night after dinner we will be driving the 4 hours back to Sioux Falls. Then two days of adoption workshop. So we will be slightly sleep deprived at the workshop, but it will be worth it.
Also we have a third of the home study cost saved up. Only $2,200 more.
Thanks again to everyone who is helping us. I will be in Indiana at the beginning of June, if you would like to help and purchase some of my jewelry or candles.
And our t-shirt sale is still continuing, so go buy a shirt and tell all our friends!
http://campaign.customink.com/ug-1365966271
Thank you and God bless!
Shannon and Paul
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Benjamin's Room and Progress
Ben's room is officially furnished with some help from my mom. She surprised us with a changing table today. So as promised here are pictures of the room.
Benjamin's Bed
The bed of the parent 'it' for the night
A nice gliding chair
The changing table
And the Dr. Who quilt I hand made which will be hung up on the wall eventually.
And we sent in our second packet of papers the other day. So, woo hoo for finger printing! Our first fundraiser is this Saturday and Paul and I are as prepared as we can be. Fingers crossed we are able to raise some money toward our home study cost.
Thank you again for all your prayers!
The Paters
Friday, April 26, 2013
The Master Plan
Last weekend I made a giant thermometer with the total adoption cost. At first it was more terrifying, since we are trying to adopt without acquiring any debt, but in the master plan for Benjamin it's something Paul and I have to deal with every day.
Our next goal is raising $3500 for the 1st home study. And at the same time we are getting our home ready for the home study. Paul and I rearranged bedrooms so we officially have a baby room ready to be filled with a crib, changing table and rocking chair. Benjamin's nursery theme is Doctor Who; as we wish to start his life in the right direction. :)
A friend told me something earlier in the week that helps me when I get down. "God already knows little Benjamin and who he is or will be!" I love this.
Our next goal is raising $3500 for the 1st home study. And at the same time we are getting our home ready for the home study. Paul and I rearranged bedrooms so we officially have a baby room ready to be filled with a crib, changing table and rocking chair. Benjamin's nursery theme is Doctor Who; as we wish to start his life in the right direction. :)
A friend told me something earlier in the week that helps me when I get down. "God already knows little Benjamin and who he is or will be!" I love this.
Thank you for your support and prayers!
The Paters
2nd milestone!
We have officially raised enough money for the 2 day adoption workshop, which is going to be held in the middle of June. And we got our next huge packet of paperwork to start filling out for the home study. Thank you to those who helped with this milestone and thank you for those who are keeping us in your prayers.
Paul and Shannon
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Stuff is actually happening!
Just got off the phone with a woman from the adoption agency. They have us scheduled for an informational meeting in May. That meeting is about the adoption process and making sure we are ready to adopt. It will be nice because we will get to meet another couples who are getting ready to adopt as well.
They also scheduled us for a 2 day workshop in June to work further through the adoption process, figure out lawyers and other adoption folks we will need to get in contact with.
It's very exciting. Stuff is actually happening!
Praise be to God!
They also scheduled us for a 2 day workshop in June to work further through the adoption process, figure out lawyers and other adoption folks we will need to get in contact with.
It's very exciting. Stuff is actually happening!
Praise be to God!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
T-Shirt campaign is a go!
That's right folks! Order your awesome t-shirts now and tell all your friends. Because with every shirt sold, Paul and I become one step closer to being parents! And we have very anxious parents that want to be grandparents, so help support the dream of a little Pater running around.
Order your shirts here. There is a $3.50 shipping fee and the shirts will be shipped out directly to your house when the campaign ends.
This is the link:
http://campaign.customink.com/ug-1365966271
Thanks and God Bless!
The Paters
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
1st milestone!
With some help we raised enough money for our registration fee's! And we mailed out our paper work today. It feels good to finally take that first step.
Now our next step is attending an information meeting in the beginning of May down in Sioux Falls.
The t-shirt fundraiser is still a work in progress but I will let everyone know when it's up and running.
We thank you all for your prayers and look forward to the months to come.
Paul & Shannon
Friday, April 12, 2013
The Beginning of the Journey
To start out, I figured we should tell you a little bit about ourselves.
My name is Paul Pater. I'm a pastor in rural South Dakota.
My wife is Shannon Pater. She works from home as a custom jeweler.
We were married on 11-11-11.
In 2008, Shannon was diagnosed with lupus.
Since pregnancy would be extremely difficult on her, we decided that our path in life was to adopt.
On April 8, 2013, my wife Shannon and I started the adoption process.
We started this blog to keep friends and family updated on the adoption process.
Thanks for coming along with us on this journey. And in the words of a famous Doctor, "Allons-y!"
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